I Broke Up With My Partner

Today marks the end of a relationship. May 5th, just before my birthday. Funny how birthdays effect relationships, its always rocky during times when we should celebrate. 

But celebrating with them is not what I wanted. To be blunt, they were boring, a lame. 

They were always proving to me how little I mattered. How superior this 3/10 was to me (a literal goddess). 

And his victim complex was severely unattractive. I couldn't do or say anything remotely 'mean' before he shot into a tangent about his life being so hard. "It's like everyone has a leg up but me" 

"Life like to take away anything good, I can't be happy for too long" 

These are quotes from the saddest man on earth. 

What I want is a partner in crime, someone who loves my silly ideas and wants to party!!! I want someone who's not afraid of being themselves. 

And who knows maybe I'll find that someday, I'm thinking of not getting hinge back. Too much catfishing on there. 

Wish me luck, and feel loved today! 

April update 2

 hey! it's been a while, how are you? 

I'm really excited as it's almost my 22nd birthday! And preparations are in place, I have a lot of family and friends coming over for a painting party! 

Things have been hard otherwise, i have little cash and all these things like petrol and payments are biting at me. doing door dash is helping but it's getting to the point i have to quit smoking to conserve cash.. this is tough. I feel so much anxiety over every small thing, luckily i have an appointment with my case worker next week so I will express all my pain then, for now my family get an ear-full and so do you dear reader. 

On a brighter note, things with my boyfriend are great! and I've just finished reading a short book called 'The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck'. For me, it's been really motivating and has helped me see parts of myself that i usually would hide. It makes me want to change. 

Also though my job hunt has turned up sour (even Maccas rejected me) I may get a second chance at my dad's place of work! So please wish me luck. then the only trouble will be keeping it, i don't understand why i have such a hard time working, i do great for a few weeks but quickly burn out and make impulsive decisions like taking days off or even quitting without a backup at all! This year i have to change, i need to change. 

I hope April treats you well, and work hard to achieve your dreams!

April Update

April Update

This April has been wonderful! I cut my hair into a pixie cut, my boyfriend and I are seeing each other this weekend and I'm still jobless... well the last one isn't really a plus but I've decided to just enjoy my time while i have it instead of freaking out all the time. I've been reading this book, 'The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck' and It's been really eye opening for me. Of course i give a fuck about my unemployment but i wont let it eat me alive until I'm a wallowing mess laying in bed all day! I will door dash and paint and read because i still deserve happiness. 

As for my hair... I made a silly impulsive decision to cut it and it looked TERRIBLE, luckily for me my mother is a hair guru and managed to fix it into a cut I've always wanted to try. Now you may say, wow why did you cut your beautiful hair? and my answer is: that all over social media i have been told to grow my hair and to that i say fuck you. I do what i want.

And the boyfriend, we've been quite well... he treats me fine, i guess. He Could be a little more head over heels for me but you can't really change men can you? We're going to see each other this weekend and i can't wait! we're going to have a picnic at the park and do stuff ya know.

Things have been weird, and he doesn't have a phone so we cant contact each other willy nilly. it's been really hard. We say i love you but does he really mean it? Am i a paranoid overthinker? mayhaps. 

I've also been thinking about turning my blog into a podcast instead, something to think about...

anyways thanks for reading! have a beautiful day 

INSTAGRAM : ZLOTHISH

I'm Back In Australia!

Hi! How are you? I know it's been a few days since my last post, First we had the magical wedding, then flying back home and finally the wonderful world of unpacking! And while I was amongst the busyness I decided to take a break from my blog. 

 Last Saturday we landed back in Australia! The flight felt longer and more troublesome, my family and I were really over the whole airport experience. And now my parents are at their block in Nanango, rural Australia, for a short holiday. 

I have loads of washing to do but now I'm babysitting for the bride so it'll have to wait. 

Here's a few more photos from our trip that I never posted: 

since I got my My Melody bag I haven't let it go, she needs a wash lol 

Glad you read this post! Have a luxurious week and spoil yourself once in a while 💖

Bye!